To the "Not to be nitpicky, but…" People

Someone started a comment to one of my blogs with, “Not to be nitpicky, but…” and then, shocker, went on to be nitpicky. She offered some handy facts no one asked for or needed to refute my comical musing on a subject. Not sure how reading one of my admittedly factless blogs prompts someone to…

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Getting Honest is Better Than a Root Canal

I recently got a crown. We all know there only a few ways to get a crown at my age. Taking your chances with “food” from Burger King. Getting swept up in some RomCom-like plot where you discover you are the long lost royal heir to an obscure yet powerful nation. Winning a beauty contest.…

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M.Blazoned Freaks Out Watching Cyst Removal Video

My husband watched this video of a woman removing a cyst from her boyfriend’s face and said he almost threw up. Naturally, I had to watch it because I’m insane. Immediately, I started freaking out and he grabbed my phone and videoed me watching it. The video below is me watching and reacting to it…not…

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So, I’m Going to Freakin’ India!

So, I’m going to India. Such a simple sentence but I can assure you there has been nothing simple about it. It’s freakin’ India. That’s why I’m writing a pre-blog about it – so you don’t read the post-blog that makes it seem la-dee-dah that I travelled half way around the world to a mystical…

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A Letter to My Friends on New Year’s Day

Dear Friends, It is the first day of the year and of course I want to wish you a Happy New Year. Happiness, the feeling of joy and contentment, is my hope for you in the coming year. But, we both know that it’s just not that easy or realistic to imagine a year with…

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The Spider-Dress Freak Out

Last week I was trying on a dress in a godforsaken dressing room of doom and there was a mother flippin’ spider hanging from it. Let me repeat that. There was a mother flippin’ spider hanging from the dress. I discovered the spider at the exact moment I pulled the dress over my head. If…

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Hey Mom and Dad, Applying to College Is Killing My Mojo

I have a vague recollection of my life before I was applying to college. There was this magical thing called free time. We had other things to talk about. My value and worth wasn’t a combination of my GPA and my SAT scores. I didn’t have to write 500 words about who the hell I…

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Cheating Death: 30 Years of Borrowed Time

We weren’t doing anything wrong. We weren’t drinking or doing drugs. We were good kids hanging out on the last night of summer. But that Sunday night of Labor Day weekend 30 years ago ended in a way we never could have predicted. It was eight kids in a Toyota pick-up truck versus an unforgivably…

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45 Years Old Isn’t the "New" Anything

Turns out 45 years old is just 45 years old. An age that means you are old enough to not feel young anymore, but not old enough to complain about it. It’s like the middle child of ages…no one is impressed or thinks your turning forty-five is a big deal but you. Today I’m forty-five…

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Facebook Perfection Debunked in Four Posts

I’ve mostly made peace with all of the perceived perfection I see on Facebook. I get it’s basically a Holiday Card situation and everyone, myself included, is posting the best looking, most flattering photos of themselves and the most adorable and enviable moments of their family life. Just take a stroll around my website. Do…

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