All the Blogs

Here’s where all the magic happens. And by magic, I mean here’s where I write stuff for you to read. I talk marriage, parenting, modern gender angst, and my take on the small and big moments of being a human, which turns out, isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Mostly it’s comical stuff, but sometimes I like to play an Air Supply song to slow things down a bit and make my move to make out with you – metaphorically, of course. It’s not that kind of website. The blogs are sarcastic, satirical, at times swear-filled, at times straight from the heart, always honest, and hopefully relatable. It’s for women and men who have a killer sense of humor and daily wonder, Is anyone else losing their mind? I’m happy to report that, yes, we all are. You’ll see….

The Joy of Not Caring About Stuff

By M. | Aug 18, 2017
I have no idea why we care about some things deeply, and other things we have no interest in at … Read More →

We Means You

By M. | Jul 21, 2017
There’s an age-old trick in the conversations of married couples dating back to the days of ancient hieroglyphics, probably. It … Read More →

The Legend of The Fourth of July in My Hometown

By M. | Jul 4, 2017
When I was growing up, July 4th was my favorite holiday. Forget the high holy days, or even the guaranteed … Read More →

Things I Want To Complain About That Make Me An Asshole

By M. | Jun 29, 2017
Years ago, we were living in a teeny tiny, can’t stand up straight upstairs, cape with barely two bathrooms, and … Read More →

Why I Wanted to Throw an Apple at My Husband’s Head for 20 Years

By M. | Jun 7, 2017
This is the somewhat true story of how my husband eating an apple in the car for twenty years nearly, … Read More →

I Tried the Fascia Blaster on My Cellulite

By M. | Mar 23, 2017
Okay, let’s get one thing straight. I am not getting paid for this. I’m not writing this on demand for … Read More →

Escaping Your Inner Voice Captor

By M. | Mar 22, 2017
My inner voice is an asshole. For as long as I can remember, even as far back as elementary school, … Read More →

The Night I Became "That Parent"

By M. | Mar 7, 2017
You know how when you were growing up you said you’d never be like one of those out of touch … Read More →

Here’s Why the Oscars Suck

By M. | Feb 24, 2017
It’s been a while since I just wrote a stream of consciousness blog that offends half of my readers, so … Read More →

The Hair Pulling Madness of the Campus Tour

By M. | Feb 23, 2017
I was a tour guide in college. I worked in admissions. I’ve consulted with students applying to college. I know … Read More →

Maybe Don’t Let Your Kid Be A Dick To Alexa

By M. | Feb 2, 2017
If you haven’t met Alexa, you will. Or someone like her. She’s the voice of Amazon’s artificial intelligence home system … Read More →

The Beautiful Maddening Contradiction of Teenagers

By M. | Jan 27, 2017
I happen to love teenagers. Both the ones I’ve worked with for years and, most of the time, my own. … Read More →

The Middle Aged Unwanted Hair Battle

By M. | Dec 16, 2016
Unwanted hair. Yup. We are going there. The battle is real and it’s daunting and it’s not just happening to … Read More →

Big Picture Parenting

By M. | Dec 15, 2016
You ever wonder if you are doing a good job raising your kids? Ever worry that all of your ideas … Read More →

M.Blazoned’s Ridiculous 2016 Book List

By M. | Dec 7, 2016
Like all good bloggers, I’d like to share with you my favorite reads of the year because I read a … Read More →

Teenagers in the Mist

By M. | Dec 5, 2016
Nestled deep within the quiet suburban setting, we come upon the natural habitat of the complex human, known as The … Read More →

In (Mild) Defense of the Elf on the Shelf

By M. | Nov 28, 2016
Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a prime candidate to hate this ridiculous Elf on a Shelf tradition. For starters, … Read More →

I Wish I Packed My Army Green Pants, A Memoir

By M. | Nov 19, 2016
I Wish I Packed My Army Green Pants  -A Memoir by M.Blazoned Six days, a 35 lb. bag, and three … Read More →

To the "Not to be nitpicky, but…" People

By M. | Nov 16, 2016
Someone started a comment to one of my blogs with, “Not to be nitpicky, but…” and then, shocker, went on … Read More →

Getting Honest is Better Than a Root Canal

By M. | Oct 4, 2016
I recently got a crown. We all know there only a few ways to get a crown at my age. … Read More →

M.Blazoned Freaks Out Watching Cyst Removal Video

By M. | Sep 9, 2016
My husband watched this video of a woman removing a cyst from her boyfriend’s face and said he almost threw … Read More →

My Left Boob

By M. | Jul 21, 2016
My left boob is so much bigger than my right boob that I don’t even know what is going on … Read More →

Vacation Daddy

By M. | Jul 6, 2016
Something happens to my husband when we go on vacation. He turns into what we refer to as, Vacation Daddy. … Read More →

Hamilton Tickets: The Dumbest, Best Money We’ve Ever Spent

By M. | Jun 12, 2016
Have you heard about Hamilton? The run-away smash hit musical currently dominating all of Broadway and the minds and heart … Read More →

End of School Madness is Upon Us

By M. | May 12, 2016
Did I say September was the worst? I might have to retract that and put May in the top spot. … Read More →