Welcome to M.Blazoned

“M. is a good friend you never knew until now.” 

A fan wrote that comment on my Facebook page and I loved it. I wasn’t organized to have a goal when I started blogging, but if I did, it would have been that. To feel like a friend you never knew until you read my blogs.

I love this hat.

Life is crazy. Being human is challenging. Keeping up with your job, kids, relationship, and even your friends, can feel overwhelming at times. I hope my perspective can provide a little comic relief from both the mundane and the truly frustrating crap, so you know it’s normal to both love your life and dream about packing a bag and running away.

I won’t promise you much, but I promise you this. Whatever it is you think you are alone on, you’re not. I write what’s on my mind with lots of typos and a fair amount of swearing. I look for the honest hilarity in life, marriage, jobs, kids, and, reluctantly, being middle aged and share it with you in hopes it resonates and makes you laugh or think, or, hell, both.

Thanks for coming to my site, reading my words, and sharing them with your friends. Let’s be weird blog friends. xo


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Most Recent Blogs

M.’s Favorites

Enjoy Every Minute of It? Do You Even Have Kids?

By M. | Mar 24, 2016
“Enjoy every minute of it” is the most well-meaning piece of parenting advice, and yet, the most ridiculously delusional. This sentiment is the hallmark of parents suffering from some kind … Read More →

Getting Honest is Better Than a Root Canal

By M. | Oct 4, 2016
I recently got a crown. We all know there only a few ways to get a crown at my age. Taking your chances with “food” from Burger King. Getting swept … Read More →

The Hair Pulling Madness of the Campus Tour

By M. | Feb 23, 2017
I was a tour guide in college. I worked in admissions. I’ve consulted with students applying to college. I know campus tours. I believe in campus tours. My advice has … Read More →

Cheating Death: 30 Years of Borrowed Time

By M. | Sep 7, 2015
We weren’t doing anything wrong. We weren’t drinking or doing drugs. We were good kids hanging out on the last night of summer. But that Sunday night of Labor Day … Read More →

The Default Parent Resume

By M. | Feb 15, 2016
Resumes are kind of my thing. My entire career has been evaluating applicants on their professional experience, but lately it occurs to me that huge chunks of skills and talents are … Read More →

To the “Not to be nitpicky, but…” People

By M. | Nov 16, 2016
Someone started a comment to one of my blogs with, “Not to be nitpicky, but…” and then, shocker, went on to be nitpicky. She offered some handy facts no one … Read More →

September is the Worst

By M. | Sep 30, 2015
Not to be totally paranoid, but I’m pretty sure September is trying to kill me. Forget December and the holiday madness, there is something worse. It’s called, Back-to-School and it … Read More →

Hamilton Tickets: The Dumbest, Best Money We’ve Ever Spent

By M. | Jun 12, 2016
Have you heard about Hamilton? The run-away smash hit musical currently dominating all of Broadway and the minds and heart of teenagers and their parents around the world? It’s a … Read More →

Things I Want To Complain About That Make Me An Asshole

By M. | Jun 29, 2017
Years ago, we were living in a teeny tiny, can’t stand up straight upstairs, cape with barely two bathrooms, and we were redoing the one downstairs. I was talking to … Read More →

Vacation or Trip? A Helpful Guide for Parents

By M. | Jul 14, 2015
So, you’re headed out on a family vacation this summer. Great news! But are you sure? Are you sure it’s a vacation? You might want to think about that for … Read More →

Open Letter To My Kids About Summer

By M. | Jun 17, 2015
Hey Kids, Feel free to leave your stuff wherever you want this summer. Half drunk smoothies in the family room? No problem. I got it. Socks in the hall. I’m … Read More →

Big Picture Parenting

By M. | Dec 15, 2016
You ever wonder if you are doing a good job raising your kids? Ever worry that all of your ideas and goals you set out with as you waited for … Read More →

Rules for Being Meredith

By M. | Aug 15, 2014
RULES FOR BEING MEREDITH Handed Down From Current Writing Software 1. You will receive a body. You will find said body to be too skinny during adolescence and too bottom … Read More →

The Middle Aged Unwanted Hair Battle

By M. | Dec 16, 2016
Unwanted hair. Yup. We are going there. The battle is real and it’s daunting and it’s not just happening to women. So men, this is not the time to bounce. … Read More →

33 Self-Improvement Thingees to Read and Then Quickly Forget

By M. | Apr 16, 2015
I don’t know about you but I’m overwhelmed by all of the numerical lists that have somehow found the exact number of things I need to do…or to give up…or to … Read More →

45 Years Old Isn’t the “New” Anything

By M. | Aug 24, 2015
Turns out 45 years old is just 45 years old. An age that means you are old enough to not feel young anymore, but not old enough to complain about … Read More →

The Night I Became “That Parent”

By M. | Mar 7, 2017
You know how when you were growing up you said you’d never be like one of those out of touch parents? Even when you had your kids you vowed you’d … Read More →

The Default Parent™

By M. | Sep 16, 2014
Are you the default parent? If you have to think about it, you’re not. You’d know. Trust me. The default parent is the one responsible for the emotional, physical and … Read More →

Vacation Daddy

By M. | Jul 6, 2016
Something happens to my husband when we go on vacation. He turns into what we refer to as, Vacation Daddy. The normally sensible guy who makes everyone in the family … Read More →

Hey Mom and Dad, Applying to College Is Killing My Mojo

By M. | Oct 15, 2015
I have a vague recollection of my life before I was applying to college. There was this magical thing called free time. We had other things to talk about. My … Read More →

The Legend of The Fourth of July in My Hometown

By M. | Jul 4, 2017
When I was growing up, July 4th was my favorite holiday. Forget the high holy days, or even the guaranteed full-size Snickers at that weird lady’s house down the street … Read More →

Escaping Your Inner Voice Captor

By M. | Mar 22, 2017
My inner voice is an asshole. For as long as I can remember, even as far back as elementary school, it taught me important things like, You’re not good at … Read More →

The Six Fighting Words All Couples Know and Hate

By M. | Sep 3, 2015
After being married for two decades, I’ve noticed a couple of things about arguing with my husband. Probably the most surprising thing is the complete lack of variety. We basically … Read More →

A Letter to My Friends on New Year’s Day

By M. | Jan 1, 2016
Dear Friends, It is the first day of the year and of course I want to wish you a Happy New Year. Happiness, the feeling of joy and contentment, is … Read More →

The Modern Midlife Crisis

By M. | Sep 2, 2014
It’s not your parents’ midlife crisis. Hey, how’s your midlife crisis going? Mine’s great, thanks for asking. I can no longer read anything on my phone, my teeth are cracking … Read More →

Teenagers in the Mist

By M. | Dec 5, 2016
Nestled deep within the quiet suburban setting, we come upon the natural habitat of the complex human, known as The Teen. It is here this group of post-pubescent homo sapiens … Read More →

End of School Madness is Upon Us

By M. | May 12, 2016
Did I say September was the worst? I might have to retract that and put May in the top spot. It’s two weeks until school gets out and, to put … Read More →

Why I Wanted to Throw an Apple at My Husband’s Head for 20 Years

By M. | Jun 7, 2017
This is the somewhat true story of how my husband eating an apple in the car for twenty years nearly, but not really, led to our divorce. Let me start … Read More →

The Beautiful Maddening Contradiction of Teenagers

By M. | Jan 27, 2017
I happen to love teenagers. Both the ones I’ve worked with for years and, most of the time, my own. I know, I know. I thought I was supposed to … Read More →