Read Aloud Laughs

Too Old To Be Shanghaied

When you’re middle aged you spend a lot time trying to figure out if you are young or old. It’s as if that clarification would make death seem further away or your actual youth seem like something you didn’t only dream. But the truth is you’re neither old enough to impress anyone or young enough…

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The Family Dinner Horror Show

I have never liked horror movies. It was one and done for me. I still can’t even think about the Exorcist without covering my ears and saying, “La, la, la, la, la.” But lately, I’ve been longing for something as simple as a demon-possessed child with a spinning head. A creepy clown offering kids a…

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The Night I Became "That Parent"

You know how when you were growing up you said you’d never be like one of those out of touch parents? Even when you had your kids you vowed you’d never be so unoriginal and lazy that you’d rely on age-old parental drivel that doesn’t even make sense. There were even phrases you swore you…

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The Hair Pulling Madness of the Campus Tour

I was a tour guide in college. I worked in admissions. I’ve consulted with students applying to college. I know campus tours. I believe in campus tours. My advice has long been to take official campus tours. Get a feel for the school when students are on campus. See a variety of settings and sizes.…

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The Middle Aged Unwanted Hair Battle

Unwanted hair. Yup. We are going there. The battle is real and it’s daunting and it’s not just happening to women. So men, this is not the time to bounce. Stick around. Your middle aged unwanted hair battles are just as overwhelming as ours are. We see you plucking your ear hair. You’re in this…

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Vacation Daddy

Something happens to my husband when we go on vacation. He turns into what we refer to as, Vacation Daddy. The normally sensible guy who makes everyone in the family insane with his calculated overthinking on everything from how much toilet paper should be used, to the exact dollar amount needed for comfortable retirement is…

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End of School Madness is Upon Us

Did I say September was the worst? I might have to retract that and put May in the top spot. It’s two weeks until school gets out and, to put it lightly, and quote the Party Rockin Anthem by LMFAO, “Everyday I’m shuff-a-ling.’” It’s 10:55pm and I’m sorting through my overgrown email inbox like a…

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Enjoy Every Minute of It? Do You Even Have Kids?

“Enjoy every minute of it” is the most well-meaning piece of parenting advice, and yet, the most ridiculously delusional. This sentiment is the hallmark of parents suffering from some kind of advanced parental amnesia where the reality of having kids has been replaced with the idea that a gratitude journal is the answer to all…

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