Surviving Parenting (Barely)
Scattered Thoughts on My First Pandemic
Hey there, I’m new to pandemics, and let me just say, I’m not a fan. Right? I’ll be honest with you, I spent the last 3+ years doing some intentional social distancing for a lot of reasons. I’m not saying that this pandemic is my fault, but I did very vocally declare 2020 to be…
Read MoreThe Week Before Family Vacation
You’re not going anywhere until you survive the week before, which is a series of physical and emotional challenges that will push the limits of your marriage, make you question your love of your children, and make you question ever planning a trip in the first place.
Read MoreThe Joy of Summertime Mushy-Brained Kids
I saw an ad for some kind of tutoring for kids, I’m guessing. It said something like, “Kids lose 30% of their school learning during the summer.” I’m pretty sure they were hoping that I’d be frightened, concerned, worried. But my instant reaction was not only to think, “Good,” but to say it out loud…
Read MoreThe Wallet Years: The Worst Stage of Parenting?
There is much debate about the worst stage of parenting. Is it when they are newborns and don’t sleep? Is it when they are toddlers and you can’t leave them alone for a second? Perhaps all of those blurry elementary school years where they tell really bad jokes? Maybe tween snark? Or possibly teenage know-it-all…
Read MoreNote to Self on Mother’s Day
Dear M., Leave the dishes in the sink. Let them fester. Let the black ants move in. Don’t rinse and load the dishwasher. Don’t put that weird little pod in and get the cycle started. Let it burn. Don’t sort or start the laundry. Don’t make a call for everyone to bring in their dirty…
Read MoreMy Baby Girl is Going to College
For the first time since my daughter started her senior year of high school it hit me. She’s going to college. I’m sitting here in my kitchen, still in my pajamas and glasses, watching videos of the schools she’s been accepted to and I’m crying. My baby girl is going to college. I’m not crying…
Read MoreDon’t Celebrate Your Kid’s Half Birthday, And Other Valuable Parenting Advice You Should Ignore
I’m not a big fan of giving or getting parenting advice. You get to screw up your kids. I get to screw up mine. All well-meaning advice by burnt out parents should be ignored. But, seriously, don’t celebrate your kid’s half birthday. You know why? Because you think it’s cute that one time but then…
Read MoreThe Family Dinner Horror Show
I have never liked horror movies. It was one and done for me. I still can’t even think about the Exorcist without covering my ears and saying, “La, la, la, la, la.” But lately, I’ve been longing for something as simple as a demon-possessed child with a spinning head. A creepy clown offering kids a…
Read MoreDoing Time in Elementary School
This is my 13th consecutive year with a child in elementary school. It’s also, finally, my last. I’ve done my time and when I get out on the other side, I won’t lie, I will be a changed woman. When I was sent to the big house back in 2005, I was thirty-five. I had…
Read MoreThe Night I Became "That Parent"
You know how when you were growing up you said you’d never be like one of those out of touch parents? Even when you had your kids you vowed you’d never be so unoriginal and lazy that you’d rely on age-old parental drivel that doesn’t even make sense. There were even phrases you swore you…
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