Surviving Parenting (Barely)
The Hair Pulling Madness of the Campus Tour
I was a tour guide in college. I worked in admissions. I’ve consulted with students applying to college. I know campus tours. I believe in campus tours. My advice has long been to take official campus tours. Get a feel for the school when students are on campus. See a variety of settings and sizes.…
Read MoreThe Beautiful Maddening Contradiction of Teenagers
I happen to love teenagers. Both the ones I’ve worked with for years and, most of the time, my own. I know, I know. I thought I was supposed to loathe them too. It’s confusing. But, my dirty little secret is that I don’t. Dare I say, I kind of think they rule? This might…
Read MoreBig Picture Parenting
You ever wonder if you are doing a good job raising your kids? Ever worry that all of your ideas and goals you set out with as you waited for your first child to arrive have been completely lost in the madness of how fast-paced, exhausting, and trying parenting can be? Ever write blogs and…
Read MoreTeenagers in the Mist
Nestled deep within the quiet suburban setting, we come upon the natural habitat of the complex human, known as The Teen. It is here this group of post-pubescent homo sapiens live out their days unthreatened by outside elements with a constant free and accessible food supply, gathered lovingly according to their preferences. Early research hypothesized…
Read MoreIn (Mild) Defense of the Elf on the Shelf
Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a prime candidate to hate this ridiculous Elf on a Shelf tradition. For starters, I’m lazy AF. I am. One of my worst character traits. I try to imagine that in a past life it was my very laziness that saved me. Like all the cave people went out…
Read MoreVacation Daddy
Something happens to my husband when we go on vacation. He turns into what we refer to as, Vacation Daddy. The normally sensible guy who makes everyone in the family insane with his calculated overthinking on everything from how much toilet paper should be used, to the exact dollar amount needed for comfortable retirement is…
Read MoreEnd of School Madness is Upon Us
Did I say September was the worst? I might have to retract that and put May in the top spot. It’s two weeks until school gets out and, to put it lightly, and quote the Party Rockin Anthem by LMFAO, “Everyday I’m shuff-a-ling.’” It’s 10:55pm and I’m sorting through my overgrown email inbox like a…
Read MoreEnjoy Every Minute of It? Do You Even Have Kids?
“Enjoy every minute of it” is the most well-meaning piece of parenting advice, and yet, the most ridiculously delusional. This sentiment is the hallmark of parents suffering from some kind of advanced parental amnesia where the reality of having kids has been replaced with the idea that a gratitude journal is the answer to all…
Read MoreThe Default Parent Resume
Resumes are kind of my thing. My entire career has been evaluating applicants on their professional experience, but lately it occurs to me that huge chunks of skills and talents are missing for parents who also identify as the Default Parent….you know, the ones responsible for the daily logistical and emotional needs of the children. Sure…
Read MoreManic Christmas Playlist
This year I took the time to compile a kickass Christmas playlist, and discovered that, holy hell, Christmas is emotionally all over the place. One minute you’re on a jolly sleigh ride with bells, and merry up the ass. The next you’re blue as blue can be, weeping to “I’ll be home for Christmas.” Oh…
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