Holidays

The Legend of The Fourth of July in My Hometown

When I was growing up, July 4th was my favorite holiday. Forget the high holy days, or even the guaranteed full-size Snickers at that weird lady’s house down the street on Halloween. It was the Fourth of July I lived for. I lived in a charming little beach town on the shoreline of Connecticut called,…

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Here’s Why the Oscars Suck

It’s been a while since I just wrote a stream of consciousness blog that offends half of my readers, so here’s one to get you fighting. I think the Oscars, as a show, suck. I’m not a cool contrarian person who gets off hating things like Barney the Dinosaur and cruises and the Oscars because…

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M.Blazoned’s Ridiculous 2016 Book List

Like all good bloggers, I’d like to share with you my favorite reads of the year because I read a lot, because people who read a lot are super smart and interesting, and I’m super smart and interesting. But I don’t like to brag, so I’ll just give you the few that really had an…

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In (Mild) Defense of the Elf on the Shelf

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a prime candidate to hate this ridiculous Elf on a Shelf tradition. For starters, I’m lazy AF. I am. One of my worst character traits. I try to imagine that in a past life it was my very laziness that saved me. Like all the cave people went out…

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A Letter to My Friends on New Year’s Day

Dear Friends, It is the first day of the year and of course I want to wish you a Happy New Year. Happiness, the feeling of joy and contentment, is my hope for you in the coming year. But, we both know that it’s just not that easy or realistic to imagine a year with…

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Manic Christmas Playlist

This year I took the time to compile a kickass Christmas playlist, and discovered that, holy hell, Christmas is emotionally all over the place. One minute you’re on a jolly sleigh ride with bells, and merry up the ass. The next you’re blue as blue can be, weeping to “I’ll be home for Christmas.” Oh…

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Melancholy Christmas

Christmas is my favorite holiday. No surprise. It’s a lot of people’s favorite holiday. I grew up in a house without a lot of money, so we never got a ton of presents. Since I became a parent I’ve sort of overdosed on making my kids’ Christmas dreams come true. It’s been healing and fun…

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Twas the Default Magic Maker

‘Twas the week before Christmas when all through the house, Stuff was getting done, But not by a mouse. The stockings were hung By the chimney with care, They have to be filled, Insert a swear word here. The children were ignoring me all on their phones, While visions of video bloggers Taught them sassy…

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