Resumes are kind of my thing. My entire career has been evaluating applicants on their professional experience, but lately it occurs to me that huge chunks of skills and talents are missing for parents who also identify as the Default Parent….you know, the ones responsible for the daily logistical and emotional needs of the children. Sure…

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This year I took the time to compile a kickass Christmas playlist, and discovered that, holy hell, Christmas is emotionally all over the place. One minute you’re on a jolly sleigh ride with bells, and merry up the ass. The next you’re blue as blue can be, weeping to “I’ll be home for Christmas.” Oh…

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Every minute of every day you wait patiently, a quandary, Oh, there is nothing as loyal as a pile of laundry. A constant source of something to do, You beckon to us, always, ever anew. A vibrant array of colors and textures, a kaleidoscope, oh glory! Each lifeless, limp item, a garment with its own story. A…

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Not to be totally paranoid, but I’m pretty sure September is trying to kill me. Forget December and the holiday madness, there is something worse. It’s called, Back-to-School and it happens in September and every year I barely survive it. You never see the hell of September coming. You are so overjoyed the kids are…

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So, you’re headed out on a family vacation this summer. Great news! But are you sure? Are you sure it’s a vacation? You might want to think about that for a minute. Because a vacation is best described as time away from a job and/or the monotony and frustrations of day-to-day life with the goal…

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Hey Kids, Feel free to leave your stuff wherever you want this summer. Half drunk smoothies in the family room? No problem. I got it. Socks in the hall. I’m on it. Dishes in the sink? Keep ’em coming. Legos? Everywhere? Love it. Oh, and feel free to drag your blankets all over the house…

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I’ve mostly made peace with all of the perceived perfection I see on Facebook. I get it’s basically a Holiday Card situation and everyone, myself included, is posting the best looking, most flattering photos of themselves and the most adorable and enviable moments of their family life. Just take a stroll around my website. Do…

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I have the perfect questionnaire for anyone considering having kids. It would be 100 questions and every single one would simply ask: Do you like poop? If you can answer “Yes” to all 100 questions you are ready. I think somewhere around, like, 72 you’ll be like, “Wait a second, I don’t really like poop…

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Forget Tiger Moms and Helicopter Parenting and the latest parental wackiness I’m coining, Fighter Jet Escort Parenting, a disturbing mutation of parents who fly next to their kids with firepower at the ready. And join me for Parenting from the Couch. This revolutionary parenting style doesn’t make promises, but if it did, it would promise…

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‘Twas the week before Christmas when all through the house, Stuff was getting done, But not by a mouse. The stockings were hung By the chimney with care, They have to be filled, Insert a swear word here. The children were ignoring me all on their phones, While visions of video bloggers Taught them sassy…

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