Getting Honest is Better Than a Root Canal

I recently got a crown. We all know there only a few ways to get a crown at my age. Taking your chances with “food” from Burger King. Getting swept up in some RomCom-like plot where you discover you are the long lost royal heir to an obscure yet powerful nation. Winning a beauty contest.…

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M.Blazoned Freaks Out Watching Cyst Removal Video

My husband watched this video of a woman removing a cyst from her boyfriend’s face and said he almost threw up. Naturally, I had to watch it because I’m insane. Immediately, I started freaking out and he grabbed my phone and videoed me watching it. The video below is me watching and reacting to it…not…

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The Default Parent Resume

Resumes are kind of my thing. My entire career has been evaluating applicants on their professional experience, but lately it occurs to me that huge chunks of skills and talents are missing for parents who also identify as the Default Parent….you know, the ones responsible for the daily logistical and emotional needs of the children. Sure…

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So, I’m Going to Freakin’ India!

So, I’m going to India. Such a simple sentence but I can assure you there has been nothing simple about it. It’s freakin’ India. That’s why I’m writing a pre-blog about it – so you don’t read the post-blog that makes it seem la-dee-dah that I travelled half way around the world to a mystical…

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A Letter to My Friends on New Year’s Day

Dear Friends, It is the first day of the year and of course I want to wish you a Happy New Year. Happiness, the feeling of joy and contentment, is my hope for you in the coming year. But, we both know that it’s just not that easy or realistic to imagine a year with…

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The Spider-Dress Freak Out

Last week I was trying on a dress in a godforsaken dressing room of doom and there was a mother flippin’ spider hanging from it. Let me repeat that. There was a mother flippin’ spider hanging from the dress. I discovered the spider at the exact moment I pulled the dress over my head. If…

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45 Years Old Isn’t the "New" Anything

Turns out 45 years old is just 45 years old. An age that means you are old enough to not feel young anymore, but not old enough to complain about it. It’s like the middle child of ages…no one is impressed or thinks your turning forty-five is a big deal but you. Today I’m forty-five…

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33 Self-Improvement Thingees to Read and Then Quickly Forget

I don’t know about you but I’m overwhelmed by all of the numerical lists that have somehow found the exact number of things I need to do…or to give up…or to add…or to change…in order to be a happier, more fulfilled, better person. All of this well-intended advice is making me question how much bandwidth I…

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Buddhist Compassion and Metaphorical Face Punching

My philosophy of life is somewhere in between Buddhist compassion and metaphorical face punching. Not actually hitting someone in the face, mind you. I’m non-violent by nature, and more importantly, I’m only like 5’2” and 105 lbs, so punching anyone is not in my best advantage. I’m talking about proverbial face punching. As I make…

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The Little Black Dress Party

So, my friend invited me to a Better Than Ezra concert. She said something like, “Hey, I won four tickets on the radio to see Better than Ezra, do you and Dan want to go?” Now I’m paraphrasing here, but the important part to understand is that the words “Little, Black, Dress, and/or Party” were never spoken, in…

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