All the Blogs

Here's where all the magic happens. And by magic, I mean here's where I write stuff for you to read. I talk marriage, parenting, modern gender angst, and my take on the small and big moments of being a human, which turns out, isn't as easy as I thought it would be. Mostly it's comical stuff, but sometimes I like to play an Air Supply song to slow things down a bit and make my move to make out with you – metaphorically, of course. It's not that kind of website. The blogs are sarcastic, satirical, at times swear-filled, at times straight from the heart, always honest, and hopefully relatable. It's for women and men who have a killer sense of humor and daily wonder, Is anyone else losing their mind? I'm happy to report that, yes, we all are. You'll see....

My Left Boob

My left boob is so much bigger than my right boob that I don’t even know what is going on ...
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Vacation Daddy

Something happens to my husband when we go on vacation. He turns into what we refer to as, Vacation Daddy. ...
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Hamilton Tickets: The Dumbest, Best Money We’ve Ever Spent

Have you heard about Hamilton? The run-away smash hit musical currently dominating all of Broadway and the minds and heart ...
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End of School Madness is Upon Us

Did I say September was the worst? I might have to retract that and put May in the top spot. ...
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Hey Hollywood, Your Bad Moms Casting is Super Lame

Hey Hollywood, We saw your new movie trailer for Bad Moms. I have to say, we are excited about it. ...
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Enjoy Every Minute of It? Do You Even Have Kids?

"Enjoy every minute of it" is the most well-meaning piece of parenting advice, and yet, the most ridiculously delusional. This ...
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"Area Man Shocked to Find Out Cool Wife Wants to Feel Special On Valentine’s Day"

The Vidalia. Like The Onion, Only Sweeter. February 15, 2016 by M.Blazoned Area Man was surprised when his "cool" wife ...
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The Default Parent Resume

Resumes are kind of my thing. My entire career has been evaluating applicants on their professional experience, but lately it occurs ...
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So, I’m Going to Freakin’ India!

So, I’m going to India. Such a simple sentence but I can assure you there has been nothing simple about ...
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A Letter to My Friends on New Year’s Day

Dear Friends, It is the first day of the year and of course I want to wish you a Happy ...
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Manic Christmas Playlist

This year I took the time to compile a kickass Christmas playlist, and discovered that, holy hell, Christmas is emotionally ...
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An Ode to Laundry

Every minute of every day you wait patiently, a quandary, Oh, there is nothing as loyal as a pile of ...
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The Cost of Being Home-Decorating Challenged

Here’s the deal. I’m a woman. I have all the right parts and a decent amount of estrogen to prove ...
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The Spider-Dress Freak Out

Last week I was trying on a dress in a godforsaken dressing room of doom and there was a mother ...
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Hey Mom and Dad, Applying to College Is Killing My Mojo

I have a vague recollection of my life before I was applying to college. There was this magical thing called ...
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September is the Worst

Not to be totally paranoid, but I’m pretty sure September is trying to kill me. Forget December and the holiday ...
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Cheating Death: 30 Years of Borrowed Time

We weren’t doing anything wrong. We weren’t drinking or doing drugs. We were good kids hanging out on the last ...
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The Six Fighting Words All Couples Know and Hate

After being married for two decades, I’ve noticed a couple of things about arguing with my husband. Probably the most ...
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45 Years Old Isn’t the "New" Anything

Turns out 45 years old is just 45 years old. An age that means you are old enough to not ...
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How I Squandered the First Day Back to School

Today was the first day of school for my three kids. I spent the summer dreaming of all the things ...
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Vacation or Trip? A Helpful Guide for Parents

So, you’re headed out on a family vacation this summer. Great news! But are you sure? Are you sure it’s ...
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Open Letter To My Kids About Summer

Hey Kids, Feel free to leave your stuff wherever you want this summer. Half drunk smoothies in the family room? ...
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Facebook Perfection Debunked in Four Posts

I've mostly made peace with all of the perceived perfection I see on Facebook. I get it's basically a Holiday ...
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Mother’s Day Exhausts Me

Don't get me wrong, I'll happily take a massage and a shout out from the kiddos on Mother's Day, but ...
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Poopgate 2012: A True Story of Parenting and Poop

I have the perfect questionnaire for anyone considering having kids. It would be 100 questions and every single one would ...
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