Holidays
"Area Man Shocked to Find Out Cool Wife Wants to Feel Special On Valentine’s Day"
The Vidalia. Like The Onion, Only Sweeter. February 15, 2016 by M.Blazoned Area Man was surprised when his “cool” wife was upset he didn’t do anything romantic for her on Valentine’s Day. Jason Reston of Portland, Oregon was confused because his wife is not the type to want a fancy overpriced dinner out with champagne…
Read MoreA Letter to My Friends on New Year’s Day
Dear Friends, It is the first day of the year and of course I want to wish you a Happy New Year. Happiness, the feeling of joy and contentment, is my hope for you in the coming year. But, we both know that it’s just not that easy or realistic to imagine a year with…
Read MoreManic Christmas Playlist
This year I took the time to compile a kickass Christmas playlist, and discovered that, holy hell, Christmas is emotionally all over the place. One minute you’re on a jolly sleigh ride with bells, and merry up the ass. The next you’re blue as blue can be, weeping to “I’ll be home for Christmas.” Oh…
Read MoreMelancholy Christmas
Christmas is my favorite holiday. No surprise. It’s a lot of people’s favorite holiday. I grew up in a house without a lot of money, so we never got a ton of presents. Since I became a parent I’ve sort of overdosed on making my kids’ Christmas dreams come true. It’s been healing and fun…
Read MoreTwas the Default Magic Maker
‘Twas the week before Christmas when all through the house, Stuff was getting done, But not by a mouse. The stockings were hung By the chimney with care, They have to be filled, Insert a swear word here. The children were ignoring me all on their phones, While visions of video bloggers Taught them sassy…
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