Posts by M.
Sometimes You Have To Pivot
The last year of my life has been, let’s say, tumultuous. I think. Honestly, I had to look up the word. So, yeah, “emotional, change, uncertainty, loud.” Loud? Yeah, kind of loud in a metaphorical sense. The synonyms really drive it home: “hectic, stormy, turbulent.” But, here’s the good news, I survived. Maybe my favorite…
Read MoreA Quick Guide for Staying Young
If you’re anywhere near middle aged, you are assaulted on the daily with miracle anti-aging serums and creams to keep you young. Now, all of these are bullshit, and, also, I buy many of them. Both things can be true. But I’m starting to think that maybe staying young has almost nothing to do with…
Read MoreMiddle School in the 80s
If the title of this doesn’t instantly traumatize you, you probably weren’t a teenager in the 80s. I don’t know a single person who grew up in the 80s who liked middle school. Or at least a single girl. I really had no idea what the boys were up to, other than not being into…
Read MoreA Breakup Letter to My Forties
Dear Forties, Hello. Hello. It’s me. I know things have been over between us for a few weeks, but I feel like there’s so much we left unsaid, and, I’ll just say it, I miss you. I know, I know, I know. You told me that I would. That as bad as things got towards…
Read MoreAnd, Just Like That, She’s Off
I guess I expected it would be easier this time. After all, it was my second child going to college, right? I had already explored the push and pull of wanting them to start their lives, but also longing for them to stay close that is the hallmark of parenting. Surely I’d be fine at…
Read MoreDon’t Go Down To The Basement: Coronavirus Edition
If you grew up in the 70s and 80s, you are well versed in the horror movie genre of that time. It was a formula that played out exactly the same way in every movie, but still had you freaked the hell out every time. Basically, it was a “what not to do” guide for…
Read MoreScattered Thoughts on My First Pandemic
Hey there, I’m new to pandemics, and let me just say, I’m not a fan. Right? I’ll be honest with you, I spent the last 3+ years doing some intentional social distancing for a lot of reasons. I’m not saying that this pandemic is my fault, but I did very vocally declare 2020 to be…
Read MoreGen Xers, Unite! Or Don’t. Whatever.
You’ve got to hand it to Gen Xers. We have been so ambivalent about everything we have finally been totally forgotten. I saw some nonsense poll on the news about generations and they had Baby Boomers, Millennials, and Gen Z. I was like, “Well, holy crap, they’ve just stopped acknowledging we exist.” This should surprise…
Read MoreManifest Dresstiny
Do you remember when I posted this photo on Facebook? When I had seen this semi-silly dress advertised on Insta in the wee hours of the morning and delirious thought that I could buy it, look like that in it, and somehow manifest myself to Greece? Well, guess what motherfuckahs….????….. I booked a trip to…
Read MoreThe Week Before Family Vacation
You’re not going anywhere until you survive the week before, which is a series of physical and emotional challenges that will push the limits of your marriage, make you question your love of your children, and make you question ever planning a trip in the first place.
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