Posts by M.
Everything I Know About Menopause
So, I don’t want to disappoint you, but what I know about menopause is basically nothing. You’d think, maybe, that since I’m a female person who is fairly well-educated and has managed to live to be over a half a century old that I’d know something about menopause. Welp, not so much. What I know…
Read MoreSometimes You Have To Pivot
The last year of my life has been, let’s say, tumultuous. I think. Honestly, I had to look up the word. So, yeah, “emotional, change, uncertainty, loud.” Loud? Yeah, kind of loud in a metaphorical sense. The synonyms really drive it home: “hectic, stormy, turbulent.” But, here’s the good news, I survived. Maybe my favorite…
Read MoreRegular, Ordinary, Boring Love
The only other person I can think of who loves romantic comedies as much as I do is Mindy Lahiri from The Mindy Project, and she’s fictional, she’s also my best friend, but that’s a story for another day. Look, I love all the trappings of two people falling in love. I’m a sucker for…
Read MoreFemale Operating Manual
There’s this “cutesy” TikTok trend where young women joke with their boyfriends that making their man dinner needs an upgrade from girlfriend to wife. Ha-ha-ha…vomit. Let’s be real people, this idea that women make dinner for their husbands is based in some 1950s fantasy of domestic bliss, well, bliss for the men, I suppose. It’s…
Read MoreWhy We Love Christmas Movies
The genius of Christmas movies is that they take us on a satisfying journey from heightened expectation to crushing reality, and they do it in a way that makes us laugh or cry. You see, nothing in life disappoints you more than unrealistic expectations, and nothing in life has higher expectations than the holidays. Christmas…
Read MoreThe Curious Language of “I’m Sorry”
A good decade ago, a close friend of mine came over on Easter and presented me with a platter of gorgeous gourmet cupcakes and said, “I’m sorry.” I don’t remember exactly what my response was, but I’m pretty sure it was something like, “No, I’m sorry.” It got me wondering why women speak to each…
Read MoreThe Skinny on the Dyson Hair Dryer
Okay, M.Blazoneders (is that a thing?), I’ve heard you loud and clear. You want to know what I think of the Dyson hair dryer. Fair enough. Let’s go! As with everything I ever buy, I immediately suffer from buyer’s remorse, followed by an unreasonably long period examining the product and myself to truly understand if…
Read MoreA Quick Guide for Staying Young
If you’re anywhere near middle aged, you are assaulted on the daily with miracle anti-aging serums and creams to keep you young. Now, all of these are bullshit, and, also, I buy many of them. Both things can be true. But I’m starting to think that maybe staying young has almost nothing to do with…
Read MoreMiddle School in the 80s
If the title of this doesn’t instantly traumatize you, you probably weren’t a teenager in the 80s. I don’t know a single person who grew up in the 80s who liked middle school. Or at least a single girl. I really had no idea what the boys were up to, other than not being into…
Read MoreA Post Breakup Letter to My Forties
Dear Forties, Hello. Hello. It’s me. I know things have been over between us for a few weeks, but I feel like there’s so much we left unsaid, and, I’ll just say it, I miss you. I know, I know, I know. You told me that I would. That as bad as things got towards…
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