The Curious Language of “I’m Sorry”

A good decade ago, a close friend of mine came over on Easter and presented me with a platter of gorgeous gourmet cupcakes and said, “I’m sorry.” I don’t remember exactly what my response was, but I’m pretty sure it was something like, “No, I’m sorry.” It got me wondering why women speak to each…

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I Can’t Believe How Stupid Everything Is

Thirty years ago, when I was 21 and graduating from college, I naively thought the world was moving forward in the right direction. Now, I’m 51 and I can’t believe how stupid everything is. Like I can’t believe that all stores don’t adopt a first in first out queuing system. Everyone knows it’s the fairest…

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The Skinny on the Dyson Hair Dryer

Okay, M.Blazoneders (is that a thing?), I’ve heard you loud and clear. You want to know what I think of the Dyson hair dryer. Fair enough. Let’s go! As with everything I ever buy, I immediately suffer from buyer’s remorse, followed by an unreasonably long period examining the product and myself to truly understand if…

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A Quick Guide for Staying Young

If you’re anywhere near middle aged, you are assaulted on the daily with miracle anti-aging serums and creams to keep you young. Now, all of these are bullshit, and, also, I buy many of them. Both things can be true. But I’m starting to think that maybe staying young has almost nothing to do with…

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Middle School in the 80s

If the title of this doesn’t instantly traumatize you, you probably weren’t a teenager in the 80s. I don’t know a single person who grew up in the 80s who liked middle school. Or at least a single girl. I really had no idea what the boys were up to, other than not being into…

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A Post Breakup Letter to My Forties

Dear Forties, Hello. Hello. It’s me. I know things have been over between us for a few weeks, but I feel like there’s so much we left unsaid, and, I’ll just say it, I miss you.  I know, I know, I know. You told me that I would. That as bad as things got towards…

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And, Just Like That, She’s Off

I guess I expected it would be easier this time. After all, it was my second child going to college, right? I had already explored the push and pull of wanting them to start their lives, but also longing for them to stay close that is the hallmark of parenting. Surely I’d be fine at…

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Lifting My Blue Funk Fog

Whether other people know it or not, I’ve been a fog for far too long. I’ve been upset about probably the same stuff you have been upset with…the world, the hate, people in my life who hurt me. I’ve internalized it. Why? Maybe to be more likable? Maybe to seem together? Who knows. But, no…

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The True Story of My Free 3-Month Trial of the Peloton App

You guys, this is a true story. Missing my hot yoga classes, my super fit husband mentioned how much he was enjoying the free 3-month trial of the Peloton app, so I thought I’d give it a go. Okay, I know those of you who know me personally are already laughing. First of all, how…

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Don’t Go Down To The Basement: Coronavirus Edition

If you grew up in the 70s and 80s, you are well versed in the horror movie genre of that time. It was a formula that played out exactly the same way in every movie, but still had you freaked the hell out every time. Basically, it was a “what not to do” guide for…

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