Meredith

The Joy of Not Caring About Stuff

I have no idea why we care about some things deeply, and other things we have no interest in at all. Take the eclipse. I’m super gung-ho about the eclipse, but hell, I get wildly pumped up for a full moon every month, and find a clear starry night to hold romance, mystery, and, possibly,…

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Escaping Your Inner Voice Captor

My inner voice is an asshole. For as long as I can remember, even as far back as elementary school, it taught me important things like, You’re not good at art. You suck a dodge ball. Your bangs are dumb looking. You can’t spell. But like a hostage with a diabolical captor, I didn’t know…

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M.Blazoned’s Ridiculous 2016 Book List

Like all good bloggers, I’d like to share with you my favorite reads of the year because I read a lot, because people who read a lot are super smart and interesting, and I’m super smart and interesting. But I don’t like to brag, so I’ll just give you the few that really had an…

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I Wish I Packed My Army Green Pants, A Memoir

I Wish I Packed My Army Green Pants  -A Memoir by M.Blazoned Six days, a 35 lb. bag, and three pairs of indigo wash jeans she is allergic to, Meredith has a sinking feeling she blew the entire thing by leaving her army green pants behind. This heartwarming tale that is truly as old as…

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Getting Honest is Better Than a Root Canal

I recently got a crown. We all know there only a few ways to get a crown at my age. Taking your chances with “food” from Burger King. Getting swept up in some RomCom-like plot where you discover you are the long lost royal heir to an obscure yet powerful nation. Winning a beauty contest.…

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M.Blazoned Freaks Out Watching Cyst Removal Video

My husband watched this video of a woman removing a cyst from her boyfriend’s face and said he almost threw up. Naturally, I had to watch it because I’m insane. Immediately, I started freaking out and he grabbed my phone and videoed me watching it. The video below is me watching and reacting to it…not…

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The Default Parent Resume

Resumes are kind of my thing. My entire career has been evaluating applicants on their professional experience, but lately it occurs to me that huge chunks of skills and talents are missing for parents who also identify as the Default Parent….you know, the ones responsible for the daily logistical and emotional needs of the children. Sure…

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So, I’m Going to Freakin’ India!

So, I’m going to India. Such a simple sentence but I can assure you there has been nothing simple about it. It’s freakin’ India. That’s why I’m writing a pre-blog about it – so you don’t read the post-blog that makes it seem la-dee-dah that I travelled half way around the world to a mystical…

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A Letter to My Friends on New Year’s Day

Dear Friends, It is the first day of the year and of course I want to wish you a Happy New Year. Happiness, the feeling of joy and contentment, is my hope for you in the coming year. But, we both know that it’s just not that easy or realistic to imagine a year with…

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The Spider-Dress Freak Out

Last week I was trying on a dress in a godforsaken dressing room of doom and there was a mother flippin’ spider hanging from it. Let me repeat that. There was a mother flippin’ spider hanging from the dress. I discovered the spider at the exact moment I pulled the dress over my head. If…

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