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Escaping Your Inner Voice Captor

My inner voice is an asshole. For as long as I can remember, even as far back as elementary school, it taught me important things like, You’re not good at art. You suck a dodge ball. Your bangs are dumb looking. You can’t spell. But like a hostage with a diabolical captor, I didn’t know…

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The Night I Became "That Parent"

You know how when you were growing up you said you’d never be like one of those out of touch parents? Even when you had your kids you vowed you’d never be so unoriginal and lazy that you’d rely on age-old parental drivel that doesn’t even make sense. There were even phrases you swore you…

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The Hair Pulling Madness of the Campus Tour

I was a tour guide in college. I worked in admissions. I’ve consulted with students applying to college. I know campus tours. I believe in campus tours. My advice has long been to take official campus tours. Get a feel for the school when students are on campus. See a variety of settings and sizes.…

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The Beautiful Maddening Contradiction of Teenagers

I happen to love teenagers. Both the ones I’ve worked with for years and, most of the time, my own. I know, I know. I thought I was supposed to loathe them too. It’s confusing. But, my dirty little secret is that I don’t. Dare I say, I kind of think they rule? This might…

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The Middle Aged Unwanted Hair Battle

Unwanted hair. Yup. We are going there. The battle is real and it’s daunting and it’s not just happening to women. So men, this is not the time to bounce. Stick around. Your middle aged unwanted hair battles are just as overwhelming as ours are. We see you plucking your ear hair. You’re in this…

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Big Picture Parenting

You ever wonder if you are doing a good job raising your kids? Ever worry that all of your ideas and goals you set out with as you waited for your first child to arrive have been completely lost in the madness of how fast-paced, exhausting, and trying parenting can be? Ever write blogs and…

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Teenagers in the Mist

Nestled deep within the quiet suburban setting, we come upon the natural habitat of the complex human, known as The Teen. It is here this group of post-pubescent homo sapiens live out their days unthreatened by outside elements with a constant free and accessible food supply, gathered lovingly according to their preferences. Early research hypothesized…

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To the "Not to be nitpicky, but…" People

Someone started a comment to one of my blogs with, “Not to be nitpicky, but…” and then, shocker, went on to be nitpicky. She offered some handy facts no one asked for or needed to refute my comical musing on a subject. Not sure how reading one of my admittedly factless blogs prompts someone to…

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Getting Honest is Better Than a Root Canal

I recently got a crown. We all know there only a few ways to get a crown at my age. Taking your chances with “food” from Burger King. Getting swept up in some RomCom-like plot where you discover you are the long lost royal heir to an obscure yet powerful nation. Winning a beauty contest.…

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"Getting Honest is Better Than a Root Canal": http://www.mblazoned.com/getting-honest-is-better-than-a-root-canal/