Posts by M.

I Tried the Fascia Blaster on My Cellulite

Okay, let’s get one thing straight. I am not getting paid for this. I’m not writing this on demand for the Fascia Blaster people. And my only financial interaction with them was the $89+tax and shipping I plunked down for this gizmo. And, before I reveal to you if it works, please know I’m not…

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Escaping Your Inner Voice Captor

My inner voice is an asshole. For as long as I can remember, even as far back as elementary school, it taught me important things like, You’re not good at art. You suck a dodge ball. Your bangs are dumb looking. You can’t spell. But like a hostage with a diabolical captor, I didn’t know…

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The Night I Became "That Parent"

You know how when you were growing up you said you’d never be like one of those out of touch parents? Even when you had your kids you vowed you’d never be so unoriginal and lazy that you’d rely on age-old parental drivel that doesn’t even make sense. There were even phrases you swore you…

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Here’s Why the Oscars Suck

It’s been a while since I just wrote a stream of consciousness blog that offends half of my readers, so here’s one to get you fighting. I think the Oscars, as a show, suck. I’m not a cool contrarian person who gets off hating things like Barney the Dinosaur and cruises and the Oscars because…

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The Hair Pulling Madness of the Campus Tour

I was a tour guide in college. I worked in admissions. I’ve consulted with students applying to college. I know campus tours. I believe in campus tours. My advice has long been to take official campus tours. Get a feel for the school when students are on campus. See a variety of settings and sizes.…

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Maybe Don’t Let Your Kid Be A Dick To Alexa

If you haven’t met Alexa, you will. Or someone like her. She’s the voice of Amazon’s artificial intelligence home system called the Echo. She’s a wi-fi based-Siri. She’s a modern day genie in a bottle, not-so-much granting wishes as keeping your brain from working too hard. She’s the embodiment of Albert Einstein’s famous quote, “Never…

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The Beautiful Maddening Contradiction of Teenagers

I happen to love teenagers. Both the ones I’ve worked with for years and, most of the time, my own. I know, I know. I thought I was supposed to loathe them too. It’s confusing. But, my dirty little secret is that I don’t. Dare I say, I kind of think they rule? This might…

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The Middle Aged Unwanted Hair Battle

Unwanted hair. Yup. We are going there. The battle is real and it’s daunting and it’s not just happening to women. So men, this is not the time to bounce. Stick around. Your middle aged unwanted hair battles are just as overwhelming as ours are. We see you plucking your ear hair. You’re in this…

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Big Picture Parenting

You ever wonder if you are doing a good job raising your kids? Ever worry that all of your ideas and goals you set out with as you waited for your first child to arrive have been completely lost in the madness of how fast-paced, exhausting, and trying parenting can be? Ever write blogs and…

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"Big Picture Parenting": http://www.mblazoned.com/big-picture-parenting/